Marriage program by Francis Kathambana
We have all heard the saying; nothing kills romance faster than marriage. And yet the main reason we all get married is so that we can be with the most romantic person, to continue the romance until death do we part.
But as all of us who are married know and have experienced, the romance starts going downhill immediately after the honeymoon. It’s just not the same. Muna anza kuzoeana. Romance after marriage involves effort, sacrifice and kujinyima. Whether or not we know it, or whether or not we understand it, we know we are putting on a show. The spontaneity is lost and we start developing some resentment. Logically we may understand where this resentment is coming from, but still ….
…What if we could get back that spontaneity?
There are three constants in dating.
- Exclusivity; when a couple has “fallen in love” they only have eyes for each other. They don’t (literally) see anyone else, they can stare at each other for hours. They are constantly thinking of each other and looking forward to meeting again. In this state it is almost impossible for someone in love to be with someone else. They have chosen to be captivated by this one apple of their eye. To be in love means to be exclusive.
- Touch; being in love is a time to touch each other, on the face, on the arms, back, wherever appropriate. They are always trying to stay in each other’s arms, always looking for hidden nooks to steal a kiss. Lovers generally tend to walk hand in hand, and every moment they can, they will always hold each other. This is a natural expression of their love and affection for each other. To be in love is to touch and be touched.
- Tolerance; love is blind so the saying goes. A person in love does not see the mistakes of their enthralled, no matter how bad the mistakes are quickly forgiven and forgotten. Therefore the princess marries the crook, and the prince gets the gold digger. To be in love is to bear all and to take all and to tolerate all and do all this with love.
In His wisdom, God created us with amazing capabilities. Among them is to make the mind believe that we are in love and therefore respond with love. By committing whole heartedly to one partner, learning to touch them always and letting go of all the pain, hurts and frustrations in our past, our brains will think we have fallen in love again and will respond by making us fall in love again. When the brain responds by making us fall in love, our object of love, (read spouse/partner), will also be influenced so as to more receptive to the love vibes emanating from us. In other words they are going to respond you like in the same way they did when you were in love.
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